If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say…

James 4:11-12 Do not speak against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother is speaking against the law and judging the law. But if you judge the law, you are not one who does the law, but a judge. 12 There is one lawgiver and judge. He is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?[1]

Complete this proverb: "If you don't have anything nice to say then ...don't say it at all!" That's sage advice in keeping with Scripture and especially James' exhortation to believers here. Earlier in Chapter 3 the Apostle had laid down the metaphor that our flapping tongues are like untamable beasts and destructive wildfires. In classic near-eastern fashion James "circles back" on this subject once again, here confronting how we use our words as weapons when we make uncharitable judgements about each other. When it comes to "speaking against each other," we sinners have a wide assortment of wickedly pointed words to wield: gossip, spreading unflattering rumors, sarcasm, questioning people's motives, bald-faced lies, and slander. Of course, we come up with any number of reasons to justify our verbal attacks. We might insist we have the right to retaliate against someone for how their words or actions have hurt us. Perhaps someone's ego is getting a little overinflated so we use our words to "trim them down to size" or "put them in their place." Other times we feign innocence as if our malicious talk is nothing more than harmless chitchat. After all, if we can't talk about others, what else is left to talk about? 

But God's law leaves our tongues no wiggle room of any kind! We are not to speak against each other period, and if you're wondering if the words coming out of your mouth qualify as "talking against" another person, ask yourself if you would want the same things said about you. James would have us realize that any time we defame each other we are sinning by ruining our neighbor's reputation and setting ourselves up as unauthorized judges. In an actual courtroom the accused has a chance to defend themselves, but here we are putting their words, actions, and motives on trial in the court of public opinion, without any opportunity for self-defense. We are guilty of "speaking against the law"—as if it is our duty to interpret and apply the law, as if we know what the person should have done right instead. If you've ever been the victim of a smear campaign in your family, school, or workplace, you know not only how much it hurts and the permanent damage it can do to your psyche, your reputation, and your career, but also how impossible it is to combat or do anything to stop it.

All such judging is lawless and evil because there is finally only ONE judge before whom we will each stand, the Lord Jesus Christ. As Paul told the Corinthians, "We must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad” (2 Cor. 5:10).  In the end God will bring every deed and motive out into the open (1 Cor. 4:5). For all the rumors we’ve passed on and lies we’ve told, for all the times we've self-righteously judged our neighbor's motives, words, and actions, we should cringe and cower at the thought of appearing in the courtroom of judge Jesus, but he is the one who has power both to save and to destroy. He is the Innocent One who shed his blood to pay for our sins and is so authorized to grant full pardon and forgiveness to every penitent sinner. His judgment is the only one that will stand for all eternity, and by grace alone his verdict for all who look to him in faith is, "Innocent!" Because we are declared innocent at Jesus’ cross, we seek the Spirit's help reigning in our tongues so we refrain from condemning our neighbor or speaking against them. We will let Jesus be their judge.

On a side note, moral relativism is quite popular in our society. It is the notion that no one dare judge another's behavior as morally right or wrong. Some even claim support from Jesus when he said, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged;” (Matthew 7:1) James here also says, "Who are you to judge your neighbor?" But neither Jesus nor James are denying objective standards of right and wrong as clearly stated in Scripture. Instead, rather than talk ABOUT what a fellow-believer is doing right or wrong, we should (in line with Matthew 18 (v. 15ff)) talk TO them, privately confronting them with the goal of saving their soul and protecting their reputation. 

Questions / Personal Reflection:

1.) We cannot really know anyone's motivations unless they reveal them to us. In his explanation of the 8th Commandment, Martin Luther advises us to "take our neighbor's words and actions in the kindest possible way." What would be some loving, positive, and productive courses of action to take when our neighbor does something we don't agree with or understand?

2.) How can you be salt and light in your family, workplace, or school that changes or challenges a culture of people talking against each other?

Prayer: Lord Jesus, you know me as I really am—my sin, my self-righteousness, and my malicious words. You have every reason to speak against me, but I praise you for your great mercy that instead of speaking for my condemnation you speak words of forgiveness and love over me. Amen. 

[1] Taken from the Evangelical Heritage Version (EHV)